Ash Wednesday

Tonight, I went to a small Ash Wednesday service held at my local congregation in D.C. We sat in a circle, sang, prayed, reflected, shared, and laughed. The main activity was to envision what our Lenten journey would look like, write it down, and then to burn the paper in a communal bowl of ashes. I'd thought about what I'd be doing prior to the service: giving up ice cream and fasting on Saturdays, but I also realized I needed to plan to do something in addition to abstaining. As a college student, there are so many things that I have to do that it's so easy to not do seemingly less pertinent things, especially when my schedule has me in about six places at once. So, I decided I'd plan to write, since it's something I haven't committed myself to in a while. Maybe a little each day, maybe a lot, but ( hopefully ) beneficial.

Something that stuck out to me tonight was when someone mentioned that by turning off the TV, their mind had time to rest from stimulation, and thoughts arose that they never would have had otherwise. I thought about this in the context of my current position, since I've continually felt the academic world telling me I need to be constantly reading, writing, and critically thinking. It feels like they're telling you your brain always needs to be on, or what you're doing isn't really worthwhile. We ( maybe just I ) try to escape this by turning to the internet, TV, or phone to try to relax after a long day, but really that's just keeping me stimulated in a different way. I don't know how to come down. I don't know how to just stop. There's always something that needs to be done and being completely idle seems entirely impossible. It truly is an addiction. I know it's unhealthy, but everything around me is perpetuating it.

Just calling it how I see it.

While I can't commit to withdrawing from the academic and professional world ( this would be really awful to do in my final semester ), I'm hoping that these things that I have chosen will help remind me amidst the busyness of what is really important. I take comfort in the fact that there are those around me who are trying to break through the cycle as well. My plan is to:

Abstain - No ice cream!
Empathize - I know it's not enough to feel what hunger is really like, but by fasting on Saturdays, I hope to eliminate frivolous weekend meals and empathize with those who have experienced hunger.
Reflect - Writing every day of the journey to go deeper.